I'm awake not because I need to study, but because I know I won't be able to sleep easily so I'll either cry myself to sleep or just cry until six A.M.
And I really, really don't want to do that.
I'm sad all the time, I make myself sad all the time worrying about people and things for which I shouldn't worry at all, because if you can't even recall my birthday or my last name you shouldn't have a place in my time; but this obviously doesn't happen at all.
Why am I writing in English? Because I hate myself. I hate English. I hate going to college. And my brain melt like three months ago and I don't know what else to do.
Ask for help.
To whom?
I can't even help myself, no wonder why people doesn't trust me things.
I don't wanna be alone with myself, probably I'll end up hurting myself again if that happens, but in fact, it does happen. All the time.